I think this story tells a ton.  First off, if you don’t have the communicate skills and experience of making attraction with someone then you will never know the steps to take…so you get into this vicious chicken and egg scenario where you don’t have the experience and skills and you will nvr get them because you just don’t know. 

You don’t know what you don’t know. 

Social skills are the hardest thing in the world to learn, why? Because you have to go out and do it, there is no substitute to get your feet wet with and then build up your skills.  If you don’t have any success in the beginning, then you just get used to being shot down and then you don’t know what to do.   

So back to our Japanese girl, how is she ever going to get that first kiss if she can’t connect with anyone? The fact that she hasn’t yet makes it even harder because she now wants it so bad that she is desperate…and once you are desperate you go even further down the spiral because no one wants to be around this kind of person.  By her continuing to try to kiss someone and failing with even less desirable characters (she desperate so she’ll take lesser suitors), it reinforces that she doesn’t have the skills and ultimately makes it that much harder.  

Ah the downward spiral, once you get on it…it’s very difficult to get off because everything you do pushes you downward without even knowing it.  

Confidence is like this too, you start out fine but if something shakes you then others can sense it and your success rate drops even faster.  What does one do when they are just tired of it…tired of all the energy and frustration that it takes.  Where do people find the energy?  How many people feel like this? 

So it’s the fact that we have a bad day that makes the good days that much better.  Feeling sad should be seen as a blessing that you care enough about yourself and your life that something does affect you that much.  If you didn’t get sad then you don’t have the intensity of life running through your veins and probably don’t experience that much happiness…or at least a high level of happiness that maybe some people don’t experience. 

The lessons learned from Chris Zimny were many.  But the main one is that helping is the way to go.  The more you help people in need the more you help yourself…now I’m not saying Chris was perfect by any means, (who is) but rather that he was one that had a big heart and wasn’t afraid to share his thoughts and feelings.  

I remember one time we were at a party drinking and hanging out, he leaned over to me and said ‘Yeah I want a girlfriend, someone to tell my problems to’…I thought about that for a while.  I thought ‘Yeah, that’s what love is…letting people know you do have problems and are human’.  He was totally serious about this and it just showed me that he had a big heart and that’s how he connected with people.  I guess that’s how we all connect with people, finding someone that shares our emotions enough to be able to tell your problems to.  

So Chris…old buddy old pal, here’s to you my friend…30 years old, you would have shared the feelings of getting old with us all.  The emotion of waking up that morning and thinking…’dang I ain’t in my 20’s no more’. 

It was nice to see his family and friends at the party that’s thrown for him every april 17th. Mom keeping busy and providing that maternal helping instinct, sister looking proud but teary, dad holding a stiff upper lip and also cracking jokes like one of the boys.  Reminiscent stories coming alive breathing life into Chris’s legacy and revealing just a bit more each year.  Chris will live on forever…I’ve vowed to keep his site up until I die…and I’ve got a way to go…I hope (knocking on wood) 

The moment of the night that touched us all, silencing the masses and bringing all closer to his memory was when Mr. Zim busted out the videos on Chris, especially this one:  Marc and Chris go West Thank you Marc, you are an amazing friend to have.  

 I mean genuine is an amazing thing to be…I guess it means that you keep to your core and are who you are…in fact evolution might mean the exact opposite.  I meant evolution to mean that I was always looking for how to be a better person through learning new skills…not from changing the core of who I am.  I think the core of me will always stay the same, it’s the learning I want to do about people, places and things that I’m interested.  

So life moves on and you have to be happy with where you are at all times.  It’s easy to lose sight of this and become jaded.  I keep coming back to thinking about feeling sorry for people…or maybe feeling people’s pain and wanting to help.  It’s weird.  I met a woman that isn’t very attractive and fairly awkward, yet I feel like I want to help her.  It’s like I can see what she has been through in her life without even had being there myself.  I know how harsh and cruel the world can be to women that aren’t attractive and are getting old…what a horrible fate for them.  I sympathize with them and just want to find them someone to love…and so it goes, isn’t that what we are all here for…to love.  

Truly, without love in our hearts, minds, and souls, what are we? The more money and power I get the more I want the simpleness of love.  The pure and genuine feeling of love…ah there it is again…’genuine’ yes and that’s the word of the day. 

So when you think about making this contribution by giving to the world each and every day it feels good.  I can’t imagine not having a job or career…I’ve been there before and learned SO much about self-motivation and accountability it was amazing…I’m so glad I got that experience of having no money and no job, but an income source and a dream. 

I think to be well-rounded human we need that sense of accomplishment that work gives us each day.  I know that I will work until the day I die…I plan on taking some killer vacations, but the purpose of self you get from work is too strong to ever quit…and that is truly why I’m lucky…I love what I do and if I had a billion dollars I would continue to do the same thing except on a bigger scale…mmm that would rock!