social downward spiral explained
So I watched this movie the other day called ‘Babel’ it was interesting because of the Japanese girl character that was deaf and mute. She was like 18 years old and all she wanted was to kiss a boy. The movie shows her putting herself out there and flirting with these boys and getting positive responses from them…but when the boys approached her they run away because she couldn’t talk or hear. So then she ends up meeting this cool group of guys with her mute/deaf friend and they have an awesome time out on the town…but she fails to make her intensions known with the guy and her mute/deaf friend makes out with the guy and she runs away.
I think this story tells a ton. First off, if you don’t have the communicate skills and experience of making attraction with someone then you will never know the steps to take…so you get into this vicious chicken and egg scenario where you don’t have the experience and skills and you will nvr get them because you just don’t know.
You don’t know what you don’t know.
Social skills are the hardest thing in the world to learn, why? Because you have to go out and do it, there is no substitute to get your feet wet with and then build up your skills. If you don’t have any success in the beginning, then you just get used to being shot down and then you don’t know what to do.
So back to our Japanese girl, how is she ever going to get that first kiss if she can’t connect with anyone? The fact that she hasn’t yet makes it even harder because she now wants it so bad that she is desperate…and once you are desperate you go even further down the spiral because no one wants to be around this kind of person. By her continuing to try to kiss someone and failing with even less desirable characters (she desperate so she’ll take lesser suitors), it reinforces that she doesn’t have the skills and ultimately makes it that much harder.
Ah the downward spiral, once you get on it…it’s very difficult to get off because everything you do pushes you downward without even knowing it.